


To The Ones I Left Behind

by iwasraisedtokeepquiet



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24801364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwasraisedtokeepquiet/pseuds/iwasraisedtokeepquiet
Summary: It was 10 months after, that Kenma received an email.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kei's

It was like any other day.

He wakes up, misses him, goes to work, talks art with his colleagues, misses him, works on his research, misses him and misses him even more.

But unlike the previous days that passed, this one stings a little harder.

It was supposed to be their 5th year anniversary after all.

God, Kei, it’s been ten months.

_It’s only been ten months..._

Tsukishima Kei manages to keep it all in until he gets home, only letting a lone tear escape when he’s in the restroom on his lunchtime. But when he steps out of the elevator, he sees Kenma leaning on the wall beside his door, he can feel the overwhelming feeling creeping up on him once again.

“Did you lose your spare key again?” he asks softly as he fishes his keys from his bag, he’s thankful for the company but also dreading all the memory of _him_ that are associated with Kenma.

Kei resents himself for thinking that, Kenma’s been a great friend, especially these past months, after all.

“No, I- He wanted to-,” Kenma takes a deep and shaky breath, earning a questioning look from Kei. But instead of an explanation for his visit, Kenma just gestures for Kei to enter his apartment.

He feels his heart starts to race but he opens the door nonetheless.

He’s dumbfounded by the red and yellow rose petals sprawled on his floor, making a path to a small table in the middle of his living room filled with familiar gifts. He lets out a gasp as he recognized each one, reminiscent of _their_ past.

He looks back at Kenma who’s still standing by the door and offers him a sad smile, nodding to go on.

Kei trudges on, taking one trembling step at a time.

He reaches the table and takes in the strawberry shortcake, a 2-feet tall black cat plushie, a concerningly thick photo book, a magnificent arrangement of flowers, a gift wrapped in red and gold and a card.

A laugh and a sob battle to get out of his throat. And as if it’s the permission it’s waiting for, his tears rain down his face, immediately fogging up his glasses.

He reaches for the card, questioning his ability to read it at this moment when he’s trembling too much and crying too hard. He wipes his eyes briefly, however, upon reading the first line, Kei releases another louder sob hugging the card to his chest.

“You stupid idiot,” he mumbles to himself.

_Kei, my Dear Heart,_

_You probably missed me too much, huh? Aww, baaabe! You have a crush on meee??? jk jk_

_Actually, I’m not sure how long it’s been but one thing I know for sure is that you still hold my heart._

_I’ve never been good with words when it comes to you, you’ve always had the ability to render me speechless. There’s so much I could and want to say about your beauty and about how grateful I am that I’ve met you and have had the privilege to love and be loved by you in this lifetime._

_But this, I’d say..._

_I long for you._

_The feel of your hands in mine. The sound of your voice. The taste of your lips. The warmth and all-encompassing freedom I feel when you hold me in your arms._

_I may be very far but I hope you’ll keep me in your heart as you are in mine._

_Happy anniversary, Kei._ _I love you._

_Yours, forever and always,_

_Tetsurou_

Kei only realized that he’s already kneeling on the floor when he feels Kenma’s hand on his shoulder. He’s crying uncontrollably now, feeling the yearning he’s been fending off for so long.

“I miss you so fucking much, why are you doing this to me,” he muses, with a fond smile on his face despite everything. “You’re so cruel. I love you, I love you.”


	2. The Other Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma's

It started like any other day.

Kenma wakes up an hour shy before noon, picks up his phone on the bedside table, never seems to get used to the dim glare of it first thing in the morning. He closes his eyes once again as he rests his phone face down and let all the notifications come through one by one.

He gives it a few minutes to settle, to feel himself settle and acclimate to the world, to face another day without...

Inhaling deeply, Kenma opens his eyes and reaches for his phone once again. As expected, there are tons of notifications from his social media accounts, getting overwhelming support on his stream the night before. He’ll get to it later at breakfast... well lunch, he chides.

Sitting up slowly, he browses through his emails triaging in his head which ones he should attend to immediately but his scrolling stops when he sees a name he never thought he’d see again.

It sends chills down his spine, making it’s way to his heart, feeling it clench in his chest more prevalent than the past days.

_From: Kuroo Tetsurou_

_Subj: KENMAAAAAAAA!!! PLS OPEN PLS PLS PLS PSLSKSKS_

_HELLOOOOOOLOLOLOLLOL!!_

_This is really cool! Scheduled emails? Who’d have thought, yeah? Yeah?_

_It’s probably been a long time and im sure you missed me so much ahaHAAHAHAH i missed you too and i know im an asshole to ask you for ths favor but pls pls pleaaasseeee help meeee *puss in boots gif*_ _(dont wanna search for it lol)_

_one last time i promise pretty please with the cherry on top and all the i love yous to my greatest most amazing best friend of all time a stupid idiot could as fooooooor_

...

_(expand text)_

He reads the entirety of the email, thankful that he’s still in bed ‘cause he’s sure he’ll be toppled over if he decided to leave the bed earlier. _Damn, you Kuro._

He stills himself and wipes the few errant tears, “Right, of course,” he whispers and tries to stand on shaking legs. “I’ll do it. One last time.”

He attended to his emails and other notifications at breakfast, he also made sure to message his assistant to cancel all his meetings for the day. On the first stop of his very detailed agenda, he found out that the big idiot has already paid for everything and all that’s left for him to do is pick and set everything up.

He uses the spark key to open Kei’s apartment and got to work.

He’s seen Tsukishima Kei cry before. They’ve seen each other cry before. Kenma finds it tragic but otherwise comforting that there’s someone else aside from himself who tries very hard to portray a very sturdy exterior only to break down in the comfort of their own little world.

He wouldn’t wish this for anyone else, no. He wishes Tsukishima would stop hurting as well.

But his pain, he understands. In this pain, he’s not alone.

“Kenma, how-,” Tsukishima gasps, holding on to Kenma’s wrist that’s on his shoulder.

“Apparently, your boy’s still got some brain left in him,” Kenma explains as he sits down crossed legs beside Tsukishima. “Sent me a scheduled email and made reservations and shit.”

Tsukishima lets out another sob looking at the letter once again, tries but fails to wipe all of his tears away. There’s a fond smile on his face, one Kenma knows to be genuine. “How does he expect me to move on from him when ten months later he goes and pulls on all this stupid shit.”

They shared a soft laugh and a kindred understanding of one Kuroo Testurou.

“I fucking love him so much,” Kenma hears Tsukishima whisper.

“I know,” he replies, hugging Kei in his arms. “I love him too.”

_I’ve lived to see you happy for so long and if even if I’ll never see you again, I guess knowing that the person you loved the most in this world is happy, will be enough for me too. I love you, Kuro. I regret I wasn’t brave enough to let you know how much._

Kenma lies awake in his bed, taking in the events of the day and feeling it wash over him, getting ready for it to be compartmentalized in a box in his brain. But one thing he knows about Kuro is that he’s a relentless motherfucker.

_From: Kuroo Tetsurou_

_Subj: I FEEL LIKE YOU’VE DONE IT AND I AM SO GRATEFUL AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH_

_KENAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!_

_You did it, dind’t youuuuuuuu????_

_im really sorry to ask this of you knowing that you’ll do it not only bc im your bestfriend and you love me(this is too cocky even for me ew) but also cos you’re a wonderful cat in the guise of a human being wiat should it be a human being in guise of a cat instead??? idk anyway_

_Kenma, I hope you’re taking care of yourself well. I know we’ve been looking out for each other since we were kids and I just worry that you’re not eating well(you already don’t, just fucking eat your vegetables okay??!), or not taking a shower(seriously ew), or not sleeping enough(I know you prefer streaming at night but please sleep at least the normal amount)._

_You’re more than a brother or a best friend to me, you know this and I’ve told you as much. We’re like... I don’t know, made from the same star, I guess??? Well, scientifically speaking, I guess everything in the universe is made from the same star... anywya, you get what I mean... I hope._

_Just. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me and this last favor for Kei is one of the last things I will ask of you. And I’m so so grateful from the deepest bottomest(?) part of my stupid erratic junk of a heart._

_I’m sorry to leave this world earlier than any of us expected. If I could stay with you and Kei and Pa and everyone else for longer, I would’ve. But enough of this now, we’ve already said our goodbyes._

_I’m afraid I’ve never told you this as much as I should have but I love you and I appreciate you so much._

_The last favor I ask of you is this. Live for me, Kenma._

_Yours,_

_Kuro_

Kenma rolls to his side and curls up to make himself as small as he can, thinking if he condenses himself as much, he wouldn’t break. But the longer he holds it in, eyes clenched and hand over his mouth, the pressure in his chest grows. Until it bursts and he’s reduced to a sobbing wailing mess on top of his covers.

“I love you,” he whispers to no one. It doesn’t matter to him anymore if it’s platonic or romantic, he just loves Kuro with everything he has.

And he’ll keep the promise. One last favor.

_I’ll live for you, and for me, Kuro._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies.
> 
> Here's [the thread on Twitter](https://twitter.com/iwrtkeepquiet/status/1271304205483905024) where I originally posted this:  
> 


End file.
